When I was growing up, marriage was a vital and important part of life. My grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles were all married and, as far as I knew, they were happily married. Whether or not that was true doesn’t matter, but it shows me they thought marriage was important enough to make it work. My parents were married over 67 years before my dad passed away. I have had great examples of marriage in my lifetime. 

      According to “The President’s Marriage Agenda,” Americans spend almost $50 billion each year on weddings, however, marriage is declining. Between 40 and 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. In the United States today, more than half of the children born to women under the age of 30, are born outside of marriage. The number of unmarried, cohabitating couples have increased dramatically over the past decade. (The President’s Marriage Agenda, pp 1-6) 1

      Is marriage really important in today’s world or is it a concept that has gone by the wayside, like the old-fashioned girdle? Do we treat marriage the same way we treat a used paper towel, something that is disposable? Is cohabitation the new marriage? Do children really need to live with both biological parents to be a stable member of society? Let me address these questions to shed some light. 

      In The Family, A Proclamation to the World, the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints states, “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and . . . the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”2 This quote confirms in my mind that marriage is still important. It is God’s way to further His Plan of Happiness and we know that "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing." (Mormon 9:9)

       As stated previously, divorce is high. When almost half of first marriages end in divorce, we can see that it is the norm. We shouldn’t think of a first marriage as a starter marriage but as a binding relationship that needs to be nurtured. I know that there are circumstances that require a marriage to be severed in order to save the physical, emotional, spiritual, and/or mental health of a spouse. In April, 2007, President Dallin H. Oaks of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints gave a talk on divorce. He states, “All who have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope that comes from the Atonement.” President Oaks continues to speak to those who are still married and may be considering divorce. He states that with most marriage problems, divorce is not the answer, but repentance. He says that divorce is not an “all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache.” (Oaks, 2007)3 If couples work together to iron out their differences, and include God in their relationship, I believe many marriages could be saved. 

       I’ll touch briefly on the importance of marriage vs cohabitation. Paul R. Amato, a professor of sociology at Pennsylvania State University, did a study of the impact on the family and well-being of our children. He shows that “children growing up with two continuously married parents are less likely to experience a wide range of cognitive, emotional, and social problems, and are emotionally close to both parents and have a higher standard of living." (Amato, 2005)4 I know there are exceptions to every rule, but after reading his full study, and  observing first hand the benefits children have when living with both parents, I can honestly say, “I believe in marriage!”

References

1. “The State of Our Unions – Marriage in America 2012; Charlottesville, Va.; The National Marriage Project and Institute for American Values; Pages 1-6.

2. The Family, A Proclamation to the World, 1995, Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=trueLinks to an external site.

3. Divorce, Elder Dallin H. Oaks, (2007). Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/05/divorce?lang=eng

4. Paul R. Amato; 2005; “The Impact of Family Formation Change in the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation;” Vol. 15.