Teach Your Children Well...

Being a mother changed my life.

My life changed when I became a mother. I did not know I could love so much, sleep so little, have so much joy, and so much sorrow. It was a blessing to watch my children grow. Celebrating their first steps, rejoicing when they talked, and applauding each stage of life, were joyful experiences. Andy and I taught them to choose the right, show respect, and love one another. Because of our love for our children, we disciplined them when necessary. I remember telling a friend, “Even though my children are young, now is the perfect time to teach them right from wrong.” 

     Just last week, I was over to my son’s house.  My almost-three-year-old granddaughter had pulled her older sister’s hair, and was sitting on a small stool, in time-out. As I watched her sitting solemnly, with her eyes downcast, I said to my son, “She’s so little.” He echoed similar words I had said years ago, “Now is the time to teach her to be kind to her sister.”

Twenty-three of our twenty-six grandchildren

Discipline

              Richard B. Miller, PhD, who is the director of the school of Family Life at Brigham Young University, gave an address at the BYU Conference on Family Life in 2008. He quotes from “Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball.”

Discipline is probably one of the most important elements in which a mother and father can lead and guide and direct their children…Setting limits to what a child can do means to that child that you love him and respect him. If you permit the child to do all the things he would like to do without any limits, that means to him that you do not care much about him. (TSWK pp. 340, 341)

The incident with my granddaughter reminds me of the scripture in the Book of Mormon, when King Benjamin speaks to the Nephites.  He says, “And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another . . .” (Mosiah 4:14) I am happy that my son loves his sweet, young daughter so much that he teaches her right from wrong.

Unity

     Parents should be unified when disciplining a child. It helps when a couple discusses appropriate ways to discipline, depending on the circumstance, then support each other in the child’s training. One parent should not undermine the other.  If there is a disagreement over the way one handled a situation, it is best for the parents to discuss it privately, and not in front of the child.  Miller (2008) states, “Except in cases of abuse, passively not supporting the other parent or actively undermining the authority of the other parent causes serious damage to children.” Miller quotes President Joseph F. Smith discussing the importance of supporting one another. I have included a portion of the quote.

Parents… should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and mothers, not only respect and courtesy towards their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home. (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, pp. 283-284)

Love

In John we read, “We love him, because he first loved us.” (John 4:19) Showing love to our children will go a long way when teaching them the important things in life.